Finding love

“I’m delighted to see you so happy,” Mum said to me this morning as we sat eating our breakfast in the sunny garden. “He’s a wonderful man. And he clearly thinks the world of you. It’s so lovely to see you two together.”

How did I reply?

I cried.

Of course I did.

How could I not?

Firstly, it’s true. I am happy – incredibly happy in my relationship. In fact, sometimes I’m flabbergasted and amazed that I got here, that I created this, that we created this.

Secondly, even if I know it in my heart, I found it moving to hear Mum reflect my happiness back to me – someone who’s so close to me, someone who can tell just by the tone of my voice, the look in my eye or my general vibe whether I’m upset, angry or content. There’s no fooling Mum. She’d know if I wasn’t happy, if I was hiding something or if I’d made a bad choice but was trying to dress it up as a good one. She’s hyper-sensitive like me, highly attuned to the feelings of others, which, as you’ll know if you’re the same, can be both a blessing and a curse. So Mum knows.

Mum is also amazed at the beautiful place in which I live – the beach, the sand, the sea, the harbour, the rolling hills on the horizon, the peaceful, sunny garden. As I am too, often.

I did this. I got myself here. I followed my heart. I made some tough choices. I walked through my fears. As you can too.

Reading this, you might be thinking that life is a bed of roses. Yes, I have so much to be grateful for but when has my life ever been a bed of roses, or when I have allowed it to be?

This morning, I cried. I cried because mum is getting old, sick and forgetful and I can’t make her better. I’ve never been able to as much as I’ve wanted to, my entire life.

I cried too because sometimes I still feel like I’m battling and striving and trying too hard with my work and my life, because my heart wants even more freedom, more peace, more rest and more joy than I am able to give it at present.

But it’s OK. It’s OK to cry, to feel, to let the emotions out. It’s a good thing. They’re there anyway so I can either run away from them, hide from them, bury them or distract myself from them – or I can process them, let them flow through me and out the other side. Once I do that, once I’ve done that, I can breathe easier and smile again, as I’m doing now.

Because miracles abound. Dreams have come true. Much of my life is beyond my wildest dreams. I am in love, I live by the sea and I get to use my life experience – some of that pain, some of that grief, some of those crazy twists and turns, those dysfunctional relationships, those past breakups and all the buckets of tears – to help others. I get to counsel and coach. I get to connect to my intuition and speak from my heart to guide others towards love and a life of their dreams. What a privilege.

The fact I am doing this love and life coaching at all is a miracle. I trusted my heart. I followed my intuition. I listened to those who told me that I’m good at this, that I have a gift for this. I took a leap of faith.

Amazing.

Yes we can create the life of our dreams. Yes we can do work that we love. Yes we can share our gifts with the world. We’re allowed. We can trust ourselves. It may not come easy. There may be some setbacks along the way. But it’ll be worth it in the end.

So dear readers, right now I need a bit of help raising awareness of this wonderful work I’m doing. If you know anyone who might benefit from my experience, who might need help creating a life of their dreams, building solid foundations of self-care, self-love and self-worth and finding a loving partnership, could you send them my way? Send them to this blog, to my free Facebook group, Being Real, Becoming Whole, or suggest they check out my next How to Fall in Love course, which starts this Monday.

Can I tell you a little bit about the love course? If it isn’t for you or anyone you know, feel free to skim over this bit. This blog has always been a heartfelt missive – I don’t want it to become a sales page. But I’m so passionate about this work I’m doing and I really want to share it. To quote one of the lovely ladies (I call them my Love Ladies) who’s done the course and continues to work with me, six months on, “it’s exceptional – it’s exceptional because it helps you in so many different ways besides intimacy and finding love. You pay for the title of the course, but you get so much more.”

hearttree

It’s about self-worth, self-esteem, self-love and building our inner oak tree so that we’re deeply rooted in our truth and strength and can withstand any emotional storms. It’s about knowing who we are and what we want and deserve. It’s about identifying and honouring our needs. It’s about creating a wonderful vision for our life and taking steps to follow our dreams, irrespective of our relationship status. It’s about becoming someone we really want to date, someone we would want to fall in love with – someone who loves and cherishes themselves, follows their heart and honours their deepest desires. It’s about creating boundaries so we can interact with those whom we find attractive without losing ourselves before knowing whether they’re safe or good for us. It’s about joy, freedom and fulfillment. It’s about making bold choices.

I think it’s special. And that’s all I’m going to say about it!

We all deserve love, relationship and companionship (if that’s what we want – some of us may be content being out of relationship and I fully respect that). But I know love, touch and intimacy are so vital to my wellbeing. Waking up laughing with someone, going to sleep laughing with someone, touching and being touched, comforting and being comforted, sharing life’s joys and trials. What a privilege.

You deserve a wonderful life. We all do. But sometimes that life doesn’t come to us. Sometimes we have to create it. Sometimes we have to go through the growing pains. We have to face our fears, cry some tears, bump into some obstacles and find our way around them. It may hurt a bit. We may bruise. We may feel scared. But we’ll learn and grow and develop and we’ll get there. We will get there.

That’s all from me for today. Sending love x

 

*******

 

If you’ll allow me, a bit of sales patter:

If you like what you’ve read here, you may enjoy my book: How to Fall in Love – A 10-Step Journey to the Heart. It’s for men and women who want to heal and transform their relationships with themselves and live fulfilling, wholehearted lives. You can download the intro and first chapter for free on my website if you’d like to try before you buy. My How to Fall in Love course begins Monday and I am planning a one-day retreat later in the summer. Check out my website for more details. You’ll also find details on my website of a blogging workshop and a blogging bootcamp if you’d like to start or develop your own blog.

Have a think too about joining my free Facebook community for women who are committed to living wholeheartedly: Being Real, Becoming Whole.

Thank you! x

 

 

 

 

 

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