Last Christmas …

… I gave you my heart … I was going to call this blog post ‘This time last year’ but I love that Wham! song. It takes me back – to my early teenage years when a massive poster of George and Andrew adorned my pink bedroom walls.

I was also going to write a lot in this post about last Christmas, which I spent in Mexico. I was going to recall my friend’s fabulous wedding, the evening I spent on a yacht under the stars in Acapulco bay watching the cliff divers, learning to surf and riding a wave into the shore in Puerto Escondido, Christmas Day spent in peace on the beach and touring a beautiful lagoon, Boxing Day dancing salsa with new friends, my brief encounter with a young, Australian surfer dude and my not-so-brief encounter with an American backpacker.

I was also going to recall that we take ourselves with us wherever we go, because as much as my time in Mexico, in many ways, was idyllic – beach, sun, surf, you get the picture – I was also plagued by some of the things that trouble me at home: chronic indecision, loneliness, low self-esteem, insecurity and a compulsive need to create stress in my life and have adrenaline coursing through my veins.

But, the truth is, I haven’t got time to go into any of that because this year, I’m spending Christmas with my family in North Wales and I’m going to have to battle gale-force winds, rain and travel disruption to get there. And to avoid creating more stress – and elevating my adrenaline levels any higher than they are already – I’m going to have to leave. Now. Much sooner than I had planned to leave, rather than much later, which is my normal modus operandi. In fact, what I am doing still writing this!

Suffice it to say that as much as I prefer the sunshine, sea and surf to wind, rain and grey skies, none of that external stuff really matters if I’m not in a good space internally, if I’m not taking care of myself, if I’m not acting in my best interests and if I’m not at peace.

So, this Christmas, I hope I can act in my best interests and maintain a state of peace and self-love, while being of service to and sharing joy and love with those I hold dear.

And I wish the same for all of you, dear readers. 

Merry Christmas!

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This entry was posted in Happiness, Recovery, Self-Acceptance, Women and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Last Christmas …

  1. Emilyb says:

    You have some great “early resolutions”! Have a wonderful Christmas!

  2. Merry Christmas and best wishes on your transition into your new life!

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