Last week, I sat in a clinic with my mum and wiped my tears away as the nurse diagnosed her with a form of dementia. It shouldn’t have come as a shock – her memory had been failing for a while – but there’s something about hearing a diagnosis from a medical professional that makes it very real and final and drives it home in a way you can no longer ignore.
Mum is 77, 31 years older than me. My Nana, her mum, got dementia too and it began in her 60s. What does this mean for me? That’s something I hope to explore in greater detail in a magazine article – is it hereditary; what do I need to do to protect myself and reduce my risk? But beyond the facts, figures, studies and expert opinion, it’s clear what it means for me: I need to get on and live.
My time is now.
Our time is now.
I owe it to myself to make the most of my life and my current state of health, which, apart from some aches and pains, is pretty good. I’m very fortunate. I’m blessed.
I owe it to myself to fight for the life that I want, to follow my heart, to live my passion, to speak my truth, to stand up for myself, to have real conversations.
I owe it to myself to reduce my anxiety and stress levels, to lighten up, to laugh more.
I owe it to myself to do my utmost to turn this passion of mine for writing and for coaching women and men into healthy relationships and lives they love into an abundant business that’s deeply fulfilling and has a profound impact on others’ happiness and wellbeing.
Yes, we owe it to ourselves.
I know it’s not all going to happen at once. I know that I might be fired up one day but feeling low on enthusiasm the next. I know there’s no magic bullet or quick fix. I know I’m on a journey.
But if I can make a choice every day to trust, to believe, to have faith in myself, in my work, in my future, in this glorious life that I’m creating, then I’m half-way there.
If I can speak up when my shame is telling me to be silent.
If I can speak my truth when my fear is telling me to hide.
If I can go big when my low self-esteem is telling me to play small.
If I can join in with others when my saboteur is telling me to isolate.
If I can fight for community and belonging when the voice inside is telling me I’d be safer on my own.
If I can be generous to others and to myself when my financial insecurity is telling me to hold on tight to everything I’ve got.
If I can let go and trust when I want to tighten my grip and control.
If I can cry when I want to stuff my tears down with food or numb my feelings by staying busy.
If I can believe there’s enough for everyone and celebrate others’ wealth and success rather than envy it and be scared to share my gifts.
If I can laugh often with friends and strangers.
If I can go paddle boarding or sea swimming even when it’s cold and grey rather than stay home watching rubbish TV.
If I can be bold and brave.
If I can say sorry quickly and say I love you every day.
If I can do all that, then I’ll be giving life my best shot.
How about you? How are you going to make the most of your time?
Your time is now.
If you’d like to help me do the work I believe I’m meant to be doing and make an impact on others’ lives, it would be wonderful if you could share news of my upcoming How to Fall in Love retreats in Dorset with any single women who might be interested. And if 2018 is your year to find love, come and join us.
My November 17-19 retreat is almost full but I still have a few rooms left. My January 12-14 retreat is now open for bookings. Both are great value.
I’m also opening up my membership community of Love Ladies again on Nov 1st so if you’re ready to find a relationship and would like to explore dating as part of a supportive community of like-minded women, come and join us. The fee is £16/month. We have group coaching calls and an active Facebook group with lots of video and written content on topics like wellbeing, intimacy, body image, fear versus instinct etc.
For a flavour of my work, read some more of this blog or check out my book: How to Fall in Love – A 10-Step Journey to the Heart. Please leave a review if you read it and have a moment. Reviews make a big difference.
Finally, my free Facebook community is here: Being Real, Becoming Whole.