It was International Women’s Day yesterday, a day when we celebrate our female icons and all the courageous things they’ve done over the years, a day when we speak out for women everywhere, trying to make sure women and girls have a voice and have the same opportunities as men.
I took a courageous step yesterday, on a much smaller scale than our heroines throughout the ages, but it was a courageous step all the same. I walked through my own fears. I fought for my own voice.
Yesterday evening, I published the paperback of my book How to Fall in Love – A 10-Step Journey to the Heart.
This was much harder than publishing the Kindle version, which went live on Valentine’s Day. Putting my book in paperback required a lot more courage.
My inner perfectionist went wild for a few weeks. She obsessed over inverted commas, Oxford commas, conjunctions and margins (do we take off 5 millimeters or 7, 5 millimeters or 7? How can I be sure?)
I don’t have the constitution to write and publish a book, I kept saying, as I lost sleep worrying about how I would be judged for repeating a word in the same paragraph or for getting an idiom wrong. There were tears. There were times when I ran along the beach shouting out for help.
Why do I find this so hard? Why am I so scared? I know why, and the reasons go deep, the fear goes way back. There’s a deep insecurity – a desire to be universally liked, loved and approved of that began in my childhood. And there’s a perfectionism that’s crippling and paralysing at times.
But I’m slowly realising that being universally loved is a childish fantasy. That’s not the real world. That’s not adulthood. And perfection doesn’t exist.
I’m slowly getting over myself.
Because I have to. I don’t have a choice. The pain of being silent, of not creating, of not going for my dreams and not publishing my words is becoming far greater than the pain and anguish I had to go through to put my book in print.
So I did it. I took the plunge. I bit the bullet.
And now I’d love your help. I’d love you to share this post or the link to my book with your friends and contacts. I’d love your support. I’d love my book to climb up Amazon’s lists and I’d love to get some reviews. If you can share my book, that’s wonderful. If you can’t, thank you for cheering me on all the same.
I hope by walking through my fears and getting my voice out into the world, I’ve encouraged you to make a bold choice and to go for your dreams, despite your fears, your anxieties and any anguish you feel.
If I can do it, I believe you can too.
If you’re wondering what the book is about, here’s a summary from the back cover:
‘Poignant, intimate, shockingly honest and inspiring’
Tricia Walker, Author of Benedict’s Brother
‘Katherine’s step-by-step process is transformative’
Nicola Humber, Author of Heal Your Inner Good Girl
Are you struggling to understand why you’re single or why none of your relationships work out? Do you find yourself drawn to unavailable types or to people who won’t commit? Do you look on with bemusement as friends find partners, wondering if you’ll ever meet your match? How to Fall in Love will help.
This timely book is a dating and relationships guide with a difference. It’s for people who want more than superficial advice and who are ready and willing to explore the real reasons for their singleness.
Katherine Baldwin takes you on a transformational journey, helping you to change unhealthy patterns, mature emotionally, build your self-esteem and make bold choices so that you can form a loving partnership, as she has done.
How to Fall in Love is about much more than dating, however. It’s about learning to thrive, not just survive. It’s about fulfilling your dreams, whether you are single or not, and creating a life that’s aligned with the desires of your heart.